Jewcy, my new favorite online publication (sorry Slate) has a piece on the search for a Jewish sperm donor. Two Jewish lesbians wanted to have a baby, and one of them talks about her decision to pursue (and ultimately let go) a Jewish sperm donor. Random coincidence: I happen to own her book Confessions of the Other Mother: Lesbian Non-biological Moms Tell All.
At any rate, this got me to thinking about egg/sperm donation and Jewish families. When I was in college my school newspaper often ran ads for egg donors. They generally wanted someone: "5'6 and above, Jewish, blue or green eyes, SAT of 1xxx or above, in good health, etc..." Well, that describes me to a T, and I'm not going to lie, $20,000 would be awesome. Granted, it is an intense, intrusive, and possibly painful process, but hey, the money's good, right? (Also FYI on Craigslist people are only offering $8000. Lame.)
But the possibility of egg donation brings up a few questions for me: according to Jewish law, what would my obligations be toward the child? Is it really preferable for the parents to choose a Jewish egg rather than a non-Jewish one? What about Jewish sperm, the issues of Kehuna (priestly status) come into play, right? While the commandment pru ur'vu* is one of the most heavily stressed, at what cost? Is it even permissible for me to donate eggs, if they go to a Jewish family? What about a non-Jewish one?
These are the times that I need a Rav.
*Pru ur'vu is Hebrew for "be fruitful and multiply" it is the first positive commandment found in the Hebrew Bible.
Update: in an amusingly unrelated incident, someone found our blog by googling "child bearing hips." Clearly they know me. And to a lesser extent, Harley.
I was sitting at the DMV a few months ago and saw advertisements for egg donation, offering, I think $8,000, which is a lot of money to a poor student. I was tempted enough to put their phone number in my cell phone although I never did end up making the call.
ReplyDeleteTR- color me unsurprised.
ReplyDeleteShoshana- I know that I am getting low on funds when I look at those ads on Craigslist and think "maybe..."
We have two kids thru IVF. I have been writing at http://embryodonation.blogspot.com/ about my experiences trying to find a Jewish lesbian couple to whom I can donate my unused embryos and why it's important to me that any resulting kids are raised Jewish.
ReplyDeleteI guarantee it's the best Jewish lesbian independent embryo donation blog you've ever read.