Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Wedding Crashers

I just finished reading this article in The Washington Post about a Groomzilla. Now, before I spew some venom, let me clarify a few points:

1) I enjoy attending other people's weddings. I've now had the pleasure of seeing several of my friends marry and the honor of being in their wedding parties. Few moments are more beautiful than watching people who love each other pledge their fealty forever. (Crap, I can hear TR retching from here. Sorry, honey)

2) I am not against weddings as an institution, so long as the people getting married put as much thought in choosing the institution of marriage as they do in the color of their bouquet.

3) I am not cantankerous.

Alright, so putting aside the rampant gender generalizations sewn throughout the article ("Mike's the woman, because he does the cooking, cleaning and decorating" at home, says Atta.), and even pausing to concede that the stress of planning large events are enough to put anyone on edge, can we all join in a giant, impassioned "WTF?!?!?!?!" at the self-involved absurdity of this man's approach to planning his nuptials? Several months later they're "aggrieved" because they had to pour their own salad dressing and get their own drinks?!?

Maybe some perspective is due. Hey, Mike and Rita, you two found the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Who cares if there was a wilted rose in one of the centerpieces?


On a related note, at my nephew's birthday party, I was discussing the exorbitant price of weddings with my brother's dad (my mom's first husband), his stepson, and another guest. The woman was bemoaning the price of her daughters' weddings, saying that the cheapest wedding you could have these days costs at least $20,000.

Me: Well, not quite. The cheapest wedding is two people and a judge.
Stepson (with whom I'm quite close): I'm surprised. I would imagine you to be a fairy princess wedding type.
Me: I'm actually quite low maintenance.
Brother's Dad: Well, then, you're the first woman ever to be low maintenance.
Me: [Stunned silence.]

Did I mention, "Sigh."?

Any takers?


Annie said...

First of all, I dislike how even in "modern" families housework and unpaid labor is "woman's work" even when being done by a man.

Secondly: I want to get married in my/my relatives' back yard, and the dress I have picked out is about $600. Also, I hate people, so that keeps the guest list down.

Third: fairy princesses get married on the cheap, as their principality pays for it and the peasants don't like to pay for excess.

El Gigante said...

Hahahahahahahaha, oh Harley, Harley, Harley. "I'm actually quite low maintenence." Pull the other one. You've made my day.

Annie said...

Also, you are totally cantankerous.

harley said...

"Hahahahahahahaha, oh Harley, Harley, Harley. "I'm actually quite low maintenence." Pull the other one. You've made my day."

This from a man who gets fussy if he doesn't have the right type of Herbal Essences shampoo.

The Pedant said...

Annie: fairy princesses get married cheaply because they are of the fae and they can "glamour" anything they need into existence.

Regular princesses usually have fabbo weddings because their dads, or their dads-in-law, control many men with guns. Or are supported with tax money for reasons that escape me.

Zie said...

you can have a wedding for under 20k... its just a real pain in the butt to plan and also accommodate your extended family, parent's friends and all those friends who would be greatly offended to not be included (after they get married, they will understand).

just because someone wants a certain type or lack of music, a certain flower for the centerpieces, or the chairs to be in straight lines, it doesn't make them a "bridezilla." or "groomzilla" for that matter. so there...

they shouldnt start yelling at everyone and being totally lame. but weddings are stressful! y'all should try to incorporate your partner's, parents, in laws and friends wishes while still staying in line with your childhood fantasies. sigh.

sarah said...

i think this is a good time to re-introduce annie's barbeque wedding idea. and now that i found a place that does amazing tofu barbeque (tofubeque?) i'm totally in. really. not-lame tofubeque.

Anonymous said...

Planning a wedding should in theory be very simple and sweet and reflect the exact wishes of those saying the vows. However, as someone who is currently in the middle of planning this said affair, I can say with all honesty that it is, in fact, not that easy. It is not an excuse to become an unbearable ass at the expense of those around you, but the stress can wear on people in ways that are unexpected. A backyard bbq is fine if that is what you desire. A lavish event at a 8,000 an hour venue is fine too. Whatever it is that you want and decide is fine because it's for you, just keep in mind that if you want guests at the wedding, you can't yell at all of them first.

Annie said...

Thanks Sarah! I had forgotten about my BBQ plan.

I might need a bib to go over the dress though. Although hot dogs=awesomness.

El Gigante said...

Shows what you know. Its Garnier Fructise now biatch

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