Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Another Letter

Dear Security and Assorted Men at My Building,

I'm really flattered that you take the time out of your busy schedule to hit on me every morning. When I wake up in the morning, I think to myself, "All I really want today is to feel awkwardly uncomfortable upon entering my place of work. Please, please let someone much too old for me compliment my outfit!"

But seriously, please stop. I don't mean to be bitchy, which is why I've always been sweet in the past. It's not that I don't think you're very nice guys: I do, really. But please stop with the compliments and the telling me to 'smile.' If I'm not beaming when I walk past you on my lunch break, keep in mind that we're not out at a bar, but, in fact, at our place of business. I could have something business-related on my mind (I don't) or just be really really cranky that I'm at work (I am). And, by the way, that's not flirtatious, it's creepy and annoying.

Also, it's very nice that you like my outfit or think that I'm looking "goooooooood" today. I appreciate the sentiment, really, but it makes me very self-conscious. In fact, it makes me not want to walk through those lobby doors even more than the fact that I'm going to work makes me not walk through those those doors. Who would have even thought that was possible? So, in the interest of my comfort, please keep that one to yourself.

Couldn't we just be cordial? How about a "Hello, how are you this morning"/"Fine, thank you" perfunctory relationship. That way, I can happily ignore it when you stare at my chest and you can go about your business of harassing delivery men.

Please? Or do I have to bring Prettyboy in here and get all kung fu on your ass?

Thank you.

Cordially,
Harley

P.S. Could you give the hot UPS guy my number?

6 comments:

DK said...

There is a ganif in my building who leers at women when they pass him on the street. The people who do this are disproportionately the scum of the earth.

I try to be discreet when checking out a girl. You know, when there are insufficient amount of large trees on the street,especially an annoyingly (newly) high-rise one like say, on Broadway between 106th and 110th (for instance), it is natural to gaze at a young attractive woman when she walks by, but when she overts her eyes in an annoyed fashion, I have enough manners to be embarrassed and think, "Oh, shit, I made her uncomfortable, that was wrong of me! I will try to be more careful and respectful next time!"

The Pedant said...

If you are serious about stopping this, complain about this to whoever you consider a supervisor with the ability to talk to the building management.

Then, if you're really serious, I can tell you how to start laying the groundwork for a plausible Title VII claim.

DK said...

What is a Title VII claim?

Annie said...

DK- Title VII is sexual harassment.

Liberal Jew said...

If you want the UPS guy you got to try the Bend and Snap.

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