Thursday, April 05, 2007

Passover: Annie's Crazy Family

Before I get to talking about the sedarim, I just want to point out that Jewbiquitous just got their first ever "Nigerian Spam" email. Although this one appears to have originated in Burkina Faso. My favorite part of this email is that it begins with the words "Compliment of the day" and then goes on to describe a plane crash. Awesome. I am more than willing to send it along to anyone who would like to read it in its entireity.

And on to sedarim. So, as I've mentioned before, my family likes to kick off the seder with "tequila shooters." No joke. As a result of this, last year I had to explain "body shots" to my Mom and Aunt. Hurrah. Then followed by my Dad, Uncle, and adult Cousin. This year's word of the seder: Choad. Apparently on the drive down to my house my cousins were playing ghost (a spelling game, second only in popularity within my family to "geography.") and the littlest one used the word "choad." As a result, I had to listen to the elder members of my family make choad jokes all through the first seder.

For example
Aunt: Ooh, a luxury suite, that's a big hotel room.
Uncle: But it's no choad.

The best part of this story? The cousins called their older brother (a senior in college) to confirm the definition of choad. He was in class, but rarely gets calls from his brothers, so he left and answered the phone, almost in a panic. He picks up to hear hysterical laughter. And then the question. His response? "You called me for this? Really?" My family is amazing.

Other jokes that we tell every year that I missed;

Q: What is the difference between parsley and [female genitalia]?
A: No one eats parsley.

Q: Why do we dip eggs in salt water?
A: Because the Israelites were up to their balls in salt water.

Last, but not least, it was decided, on the second seder night, that when my father becomes too senile to lead the seder, I will take over for the cousins. In response I claimed that my seder will be ruled with the "iron fist of tradition" as opposed to "ask a good question/give a good answer and get a piece of candy." Which leads to many moronic questions, like "what IS the meaning of all of these laws that have been given to us?"


The Pedant said...

I told Dad only to take questions upon written submissions beforehand.

Tamar said...

Can I come to your seder next year? My family just gets mad at each other and then someone calls the fire department.

Annie said...

Pedant- there should definitely be a review board made up of you, me, the football player, and our cousin,the bowl full of crazy.

Tamar- you are more than welcome, my family LOVES random guests. To the point that my father asked why my former roommate wasn't coming "home to her family" (meaning us) this year. Although a call to the fire department sounds kind of exciting. But only if the NYC fireman's calendar people show up.