And Because We Have Yet to Mention George Allen...

Sung to the tune of "Be Our Guest!" from Beauty and the Beast:

I'm a Jew! I'm a Jew! Something that I never knew. I sat down and asked my mother And she said that it is true!

I'm a Jew! I'm a Jew!
And I don't know what to do.
All the newest revelations
Have my campaign in a stew.

I love ham! I love pork!
I hate being in New York!
And the only testament
I read is new!

Though I'm so bland and boyish,
And I look so goyish,
I'm a Jew! I'm a Jew!
I'm a Jew!

Written by Barbara Sarshik, a parody song writer, taken from her contribution to The Washington Post humor contest, the Style Invitational.