Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Ask Annie

It's that time again! Hooray!

1) All your beis, I think that was meant to be Where can I find all your base are belong to us?

Don't worry, it's right here. For those not "in the know" it is a video made of a famous mistranslation of a Sega game from (I think) Japanese into English.

2) Motzei Shabbat practices, as in What are common motzei shabbat practices?

Some traditionally observant Jews have a melave malke, a party right after the end of the sabbath to celebrate, where there is food (often cake and candy) drink (alcohol and otherwise) and singing. There is a Chassidishe idea that one of the bones in your spine is sustained entirely by food eaten during the melave malke. Otherwise, it appears that Jews in NYC have a tradition of going out to the movies, specifically to the Lincoln Square Theater at 67th street.

3)Pronunciation Moadim, well ok, What is the pronunciation of moadim?

Mow-add-eeem. At least that is how mine sounds. CJ's is probably better.

4)Frum Jean Skirts, which is probably Why do so many frum girls wear jean skirts?

Ease. If you hold (as many do) that women can only wear skirts, and that those skirts must cover the knee, your sartorial choices are immediately limited. You see, most people in our culture, when dressing casually, wear jeans. They are easy to match, comfortable, and accessible. There is really no equivalent for skirts, so some genius created the jean skirt, a melding of the two. It functionally serves the same purpose, and allows for some variety in wardrobe between weekday/casual and dressy clothes.

5) wHY cANT jEWS mARRY nON Jews?

Why can't you capitalize properly? In all seriousness though, define "can't." Lots of Jews do marry non-Jews, haven't you read the recent scholarship? We LOVE exogamy. Continuity is a goal for many religious and ethnic groups. Endogamy is the quickest route to continuity, as it increases the likelihood that any progeny will be of the religious or ethnic group. So, if your goal is Jewish continuity, you should marry a Jew. If you don't care, or don't think that the religion has anything to offer, or you fall in love with a non-Jew, or a million other reasons, then you should marry the person with whom you fall in love, regardless of their background or beliefs. I will, however, add, that I think that it is easier to fall in love with/marry someone who shares your core beliefs. But, that's, just like, my opinion, man.

5) Do Jews wear engagement rings?

Ha. Do we ever. It isn't a part of Jewish law, but many Jews do give/receive engagement rings, to show love and affection, as a sign that the person is "taken," a status symbol, or a combination of all of the above. Diamonds are preferred, and the bigger the better. Ok, so maybe I'm just a bit jaded. At any rate, a wedding ring (at least the one given at the ceremony, and according to Jewish law) is not supposed to have gems in it, and should be plain gold metal. However, afterwards, one can wear whatever they'd like, or even nothing at all.

6) How much is a roll of quarters at a bank?

$10. You pay for the exact value of the quarters. At least at your bank that's how it works.

7) And, via email: What's the best way to snag a hot Jewish girl?

Tough one, actually. This write-in is from "godless and lonely" so I am assuming atheist. As per my earlier statements, he should probably find one who isn't so invested in Jewish continuity, or endogamy. Then woo her according to her interests and proclivities. For instance, CJ took me out for beer, good music, and conversation about WWII strategy. Harley was won over by sweet words, a manly physique, and general good-humor. Unless I've misread this question, and it really means "how do I hookup with a hot Jewish girl?" in which case I refuse to answer. If you don't have enough game to score a hot Jewish girl, I'm not giving you an in lest "too light winning make the prize light."

That's all I've got for now.


Anonymous said...

The wedding ring does not have to be gold, just a plain metal. In fact Platinum is popular these days. As is Titanium, at least among guys.

The Pedant said...


Man, someone needs to have an "All Your Base" revival.