Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Nonsense is the Fruit of Boredom

Things you don't know about me:
(1) I'm an excellent cook. Tonight, I will make steak and avocado fajitas, rosemary and garlic roasted potatoes, and green bean salad. (Annie is also a superb cook, by the way. I miss you, Annie! I'm bored!!! It's lonely back here, all alone.)

(2) I used to collect rocks as a child. Sometimes the fancy ones, but usually just ones I found on the street. If I'm in an interesting place or see a cool rock, I will still pick it up and put it in my pocket, which accounts for why my enormous bag is very heavy. That and the books.

(3) I am obsessed with vegetables (it frightens Prettyboy, but I usually don't make him partake. And I chew gum after broccoli, so he's not subjected to the smell. Wimp).

(4) I'm an avid g-chatter and a compulsive status-message-changer. I chalk that up to my desire to always be accurate. So, for example, if I'm back from lunch, "Out to Lunch" is no longer accurate (nor is it very clever, but I can't always be perfect, people). Right now it says, "holy crap entertain me I cannot focus on work and I'm slowly losing my mind!" I don't hold to the same grammar rules in status messages that I hold to in other correspondence. Actually, that's inaccurate, I do obsessively check my grammar, even in my status messages, but the impact of the sentence rests in the absence of punctuation (things you did know: I am a nerd).

My status messages are not always a reflection of my current state of being. Sometimes, it's a response to a news item or a wish for something chocolaty or "avocados are nature's mayonnaise."

Periodically, my messages get me into trouble, particularly if I'm alluding to a private conversation and, taken out of context, the statement makes me appear to be (A) a psycho-crazed loony, (B) seriously sexually confused, (C) evil in an unfunny way, or (D) all of the above.

Plus, I have to be even more careful of its contents now that my mom has gmail. She has yet to figure out g-chat, but just give it time.

(Hattip: Nataliedee)

And now you know far more about me than you ever wanted to know. Any questions?


Zie said...

i always think you are evil in a funny way

G said...

Vegetables are what food eats :)

Diana said...

Can I come over for dinner? Am drooling. That would sound a little sketchy as a status... Or sexual.

Duchess said...

My God, you're right; avocados ARE nature's mayonnaise!!