Jews Love: Penitence Foods

In honor of Heeb's food issue I've decided to compile a list of what my older brother refers to as "Penitence foods." Life was short and brutal in the Old Country: it was a toss-up whether you'd be killed by pogroms or heart disease.

5) Gribenes: fried chicken skin. That'll kill you right quick. Probably fried in animal fat. Did I mention that I used to be a vegetarian?


4) Gefilte Fish: literally means filled or stuffed fish, and is made from whitefish or carp, it is deboned, ground up, mixed with egg, matzo meal, carrots, sugar, salt, pepper and a number of other "secret" ingredients, shaped into a loaf and baked. MMM. If you get it from a can or a jar, not sure what that clear jelly stuff is, but I'm pretty sure that it is lethal.



3) Schmaltz: pure, rendered chicken fat. They sell it in jars at my supermarket. Don't worry, I'll spare you that image.

2)Chopped Liver: someone must like this, as it is ALWAYS served at my house on Passover. My mom is a vegetarian. What is she thinking? Also, didn't the members of some Arctic expedition die from eating seal livers? I think that there is a lesson to be learned there.


1)Pickled Herring: possibly the grossest thing that I can think of. Let's take some fish, smoke it, and then put it in a jar with cream sauce. Who thought that THAT was a good idea? In addition to the taste drawbacks it is salty, fatty, and creamy, the trifecta of bad for you.