Jews Love: Say Anything

Last night the roommate, the roommate's gentleman caller, the other roommate and I all sat on the couch in our living room (to which I am allergic) and watched "Say Anything." Fortunately the three of them are fairly small people, so it wasn't too squishy.

The situation reminded me of high school, where I took a class called "Biblical Themes in Film" to satisfy my New Testament requirement. It was taught by the principal's wife, and was a joke. Basically she took popular movies and looked for themes that could in some way be related back to the bible. In this class we watched (to the best of my memory): Stand and Deliver, Contact, Nell, and some movie about becoming a priest. In the spirit of this class, I have compiled a list of derivative things about Say Anything that prove beyond a doubt its Jewish nature.

1. John Cusack is "nerdy" cute. He talks a lot when nervous, overanalyzes, is whippet-thin, and wears a trenchcoat over t-shirts.

2. Diane Court's (Ione Skye) father puts the emphasis on her academics over everything else, and requires that she focus solely on school so that she can have a "better" life.

3. Despite the fact that her mother's new boyfriend (Ray/Roy) is super-sketch, Diane speaks respectfully to her mother. Yeah kibud av v'em*.

4. Mr. Court owns his own business. Also he's a white-collar criminal, but let's not jump to any conclusions there. He did it all for his daughter. That counts for something, right?

5. Jeremy Piven is in it. And he wears a black hat. (Did you know that he has a sister named Shira?)

6. The purple mystery drink in the fountain during the house party? Manishewitz.

7. Diane is the smart one in the relationship, she is the one with saleable skills, the prospective wage earner. Just like in Kollel** families, she will work and it will free Lloyd to pursue his dream of kickboxing. Or learning. Whichever.

8. This conversation basically happened in my life. Freshman year the night before Spring finals. My answer was the same as Corey's.

Corey Flood: Hi Joe, How are you? I love you.
Joe: I love you too.
Corey Flood: You invade my soul
Joe: I want to get back together, Mimi is gonna go to college and I'm gonna be alone and I'm gonna break up with her before she leaves, have sex with me.

I really wanted 10, but that's all that I've got. Any suggestions?

*Kibud av v'em is Hebrew for "Honor thy mother and father," the sixth commandment.
**Kollel is essentially a Yeshiva for adults (generally male) who learn Torah, Talmud and other sacred texts fulltime for a stipend. Some people do it for a year or two, whereas others learn in Kollel all of their adult lives. These stipends are often supplemented by the Kollel-goer's parents, his wife's parents, or from his wife's income. An interesting result of the Kollel pheonomenon has been that many Ultra-Orthodox women work, either inside or outside the home.