Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Apartment Hunting, Redux

The roommate and I have decided that since we like our apartment, and hunting sucks, that we'd try to find someone/s to fill our extra room. One of our roommates put up an ad on Craigslist for a one-month sublet that yielded some hilarious results:

I read your post on CraigsList and I am interested in your offering. I may not fit your desired roommate as I am male, BUT WAIT... I am a young design professional. I would not be any sort of burden for you I am sure! I am impeccably clean, and very busy. I design handbags @ COACH; working ten hour days, and night classes 3 nights weekly. I will be scarce to say the least. I eat out, so your kosher environment is safe with me! I have no pets. I will not be having any "overnights". I am not one to bring the party home. I spend my weekends in Long Beach Island, and have yet to spend a single weekend in Manhattan since May. I am basically a ghost- seemingly the ideal roommate. Hopefully my chromosome makeup, being what it is, will not be problematic. If I seem like a compatible fit, please respond to this email as I am eager to hear more!

I like that he tells us that he won't be "bringing the party home."

Now both the roommate and I put up ads for a SPECIFICALLY FEMALE roommate. And this is what I got (from a Jewish listserv):

[Redacted]: I am looking for sharing or subletting a furnished apartment in Manhattan. I am a canadian, french, sephardic Jew, kosher and shomer shabbat. I am in my 50's, have 3 married daughters and 3 grandchildren, and mind my own business (consulting engineer and businessman). I get along with most sincere people. It is OK halachicaly to share with two women, plus my girlfriend from Montreal will be with vacationing with me most of the period. I need the dimensions of the room and brightness, noise level and if it has A/C, as I work from home. Please send me pictures of room and kindly highlight your own profile? When can I visit? Great recent sharing references available. Please call ASAP > > [redacted] > > [phone number redacted]

(note: I like how he ASSURES me that it is ok halachically because we are two women. Thanks.)

Me :Hi [redacted], while you sound great, I'm not comfortable sharing with a man. Sorry, I hope that you can find what you're looking for. Best, Annie

[redacted]:I expect that this uncomfort may be quickly eliminated if we meet and prove the value of sincere friendship. I have very high ethics and religious values that I will not compromise! I understand how you feel (and I cannot blame you for being too careful) and will respect your ultimate decision. It does not engage you into anything unless we both want to share your apartment, nothing else! Please call me to discuss. Regards, [redacted], included phone number again

Me: I appreciate your enthusiasm, but aside from the halachic issues of living with a man, I am not comfortable with the day-to-day living situation. For instance, I dress with tzniut, and I would have to be fully dressed at all times in my home, even to go to the bathroom, and that just isn't a situation that I'm comfortable with. I'm sorry, and I wish you luck on your search.

[redacted]: I trust you know what you are doing and wish you to find the best match for you, regardless of how you dress. We only grow when we rise to the occasion, i.e. to make an accommodating changes when we have roomate(s). But we have to focus on what we gain, not what we loose. I do it all the time, considering it as a privilege well appreciated. This is how I stay positively focused. Hatzlaha, Sincerely, [redacted]

(what accomodating changes is he suggesting that I make? Also, can you imagine explaining to my mother that my roommate and I live with a 50-year-old, divorced, French Canadian, Sephardi guy?)


Diana said...

What a weirdo!

Anonymous said...

The first one sounded reasonable.

orieyenta said...

People never cease to amaze me...I can't believe that guy!